n0anesthetic

shivering

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 16:19:29 GMT

it's times such as these when I cannot seem to successfully type gogoelc.om even on my thrid attempt. my nerves are shot to hell and my eyes are blurry. I don't know for how long I've been wearing these socks. and I once knew what AM and PM stood for, but I can't seem to remember now. waking up from an unexpected dozing off is confusing for me cause I have to look up and read one of those round kinds of clocks. I have been writing papers that I've put off since the beginning of the quarter, and I have so much more to write and in so little time.

reflections on ms. pacman

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 01:11:55 GMT

there are layers to this game; there's more to it than just eating dots and avoiding ghosts. you have to eat the dots strategically. the reason being that the ghosts' movements are based on three factors: randomness, your location in the maze, and the remaining dots. the percentage of their movements determined by random chance is smaller on harder difficulty settings, and it decreases as the levels progress. the longer you play, the more the ghosts will find/follow you and the less they will randomly wander.

also to be considered: ghosts are also programmed to move toward the clusters of remaining dots. thus, when you're moving through each section of the maze it's best to leave a few dots in opposite corners. if you do that you won't be left with all four ghosts hovering around the last few dots. when it comes time to finish off the level, you want their forces to be divided. once you're down to the last few dots, the best strategy is to lure the ghosts away from that area (they will chase you) and then to come back. this is better than just charging straight into the middle of the frenzy, hoping that you'll snatch all he remaining dots before they get you.

in order to lure the ghosts away from dots, or to avoid/confuse them in general, you'll need dynamic maneuvering skills. it is crucial that you USE THE SIDE EXITS. these will put you on the opposite side of the maze instantaneously and the ghosts will hardly ever use them. most people don't think to utilize this great advantage. if you have 3 or 4 ghosts tailing you, use a side exit or find a flashing dot so you can eat the ghosts.

when eating the ghosts keep in mind that while they're blue, the first one you eat is worth 200 points, the next 400 points, the next 800, and the last 1600. eating all four can be profitable, but if you can't, eating just one if it's nearby will increase you're chances of success. before the ghost(s) re-spawns, there will be a number of seconds where there will be less than 4 ghosts in the maze. the more of these seconds you create by eating ghosts the higher the probability of your continued survival. also keep in mind that even if you don't eat any ghosts, flashing dots slow the ghosts down to less than half their original speed and cause them to move away from you until they return to their regular colors.

also, DON'T BE GREEDY ABOUT THE FRUITS. fruits are good because they give you points, and points are good because 10,000 points gives you an extra life. (50,000 points will give you another additional life, and one more will be rewarded at 100,000) but if you have to weave in and out of ghosts in order to attain this fruit, it's not worth the risk. so many people are ghosted because they just had to have that forsaken apple.

you're general strategy should be to keep the ghosts as far away from you as possible at all possible times. during the later levels the ghosts will become faster and faster, and you will need to focus less on eating dots and more on keeping your distance from the multicolored specters. on harder difficulty settings and/or later levels, the game pretty much becomes run away from the ghosts and try to eat all the dots while you're at it, and not so much eat all the dots and avoid the ghosts while you're at it. like in chess, think ahead -try to be thinking about where the ghosts are in general and where the nearest one(s) will be heading.

bad things happen to butterflies

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 08:36:03 GMT

bad things happen to butterflies by nathan birkebak

once upon a time there are butterflies everywhere -all over the big round earth, and sometimes, just sometimes (on days when satan's power is strong on our big, round, warm, stupid earth) bad things happen to butterflies.

often butterflies are eaten by dinosaurs! (or sharks) but don't worry, the circle of life continues and for every butterfly who dies a bloody, crushing, and awesome death, a new baby butterflies is squeezed out.

some butterflies loose their wings, and get depression. but don't worry -there's always the sweet taste of alcohol for those days when you just can't deal with the fact that you're only half an insect.

some butterflies are caught by little children and put into jars where they will die of starvation (that is if they're not suffocated by an air-tight lid!), and some butterflies are left without mommies and daddies because of this.

the end

that guy is a little too interested in his soup

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 07:28:17 GMT

I spend a lot of time eating bad food alone in the commons. other people probably figure that I eat alone by choice. so I humor them. I usually read, and if I don't have a book I examine and engage my food with great curiosity and meticulous inspection. I would rather be alone and look content than invite the company of a stranger at the expense of allowing myself to appear lonely. I harbor a lot of selfish pride.

throwing shit away with style

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 09:59:46 GMT

have you ever thrown something in the garbage in a really awesome way? for instance, the other day I threw an empty pop bottle into a garbage can approximately one dozen feet away from where I was standing! and not only that... it was a behind-the-back toss! it was indeed awesome (and glorious). and not only that... it was ultra-cool. however, why can't I do that when hella people are around? admittedly, my amazing feat was achieved in solitude. similar attempts executed in public have ended in belittling humiliation. my hypothesis is that these kinds of totally sweet trash tosses happen everyday to multitudes of beings, but only when no one else is around.

so... how about a hidden camera show where we set up cameras around trash cans in places not often frequented. it'll be called "the most ultra-cool garbage throw aways performed by people when no other people were around caught on tape." talk about genuinely entertaining reality tv.

my fantasy confessed

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 09:35:48 GMT

if I become a university professor and one day attain tenure, I will, on the first day of my entry level classes, spend the entire class period looking up my students' myspace profiles; and whilst displaying them for all to see via the projector, I will make fun of them incessantly.

waiting for the 137

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 08:44:22 GMT

sitting and smoking. it was january, and it was foggy. the street lights projected rows of intangible pillars that lined the avenue in the pre-dawn. thinking, waiting, dreading work, waiting –I was waiting for the 137 to downtown. a sound of wrecking ball volume. a car had plowed through a nearby phone booth. the driver: an ancient and confused senior citizen. bewildered in fact. looking this way and that. guilty of manslaughter. checking her mirrors. parts of the phone booth were imbedded in the caller's corpse. his hand still clenching the receiver. an unlit cigarette hanging stupidly from my mouth. a shattered windshield. quarters and broken glass speckled the 7-11 parking lot. a steady flow of blood coming from his left ear. the life in his veins emptying into the slowly expanding puddle beneath his head. can you tell me what in the world I just hit. you see dear, I am legally blind in my right eye, and completely blind in my left. will you look? thank you sweetie. standing still. in shock. guilty of manslaughter. waiting for the bus.

the saddest and most beautiful songs ever

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 22:03:26 GMT

some people listen to happy music when they feel depressed. I say why lie to yourself? when I'm feeling melancholy and overly introspective, I like to immerse myself in it. I'll just sit there and feel and then maybe open a window or something, and then lie back down and drown my sorrows in... more sorrows, specifically those of other pathologically tragic song writers.

I am dysfunctionally introverted and idiotically so. I'm the kind of person who stands in alleys looking at rain-soaked couches, imagining their life stories and the families who loved them once and how they were replaced by superior furniture and left out it in the rain and the cold, alone with no one but the sky to cry for them, and not so much for them as on them, and then I talk to the couches. okay I don't really. but I do sympathize with them.

anyway here are songs that inspire this sort of reckless emotionality in me. they are the saddest and most beautiful ever.

displaced - azure ray

of angels and angles - the decemberists

hide and seek -imogen heap

underneath the weeping willow - grandaddy

me vs. maradona vs. elvis - brand new

play crack the sky - brand new

left and leaving - the weakerthans

poison oak - bright eyes

you will... - bright eyes

it's for the best - straylight run

john wayne gacy, jr. - sufjan stevens

I will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie

pictures of success - rilo kiley

the inside of love - nada surf

luckiest - ben folds

letters to the far reaches - the promise ring

farmer chords - ben gibbard

in other words - ben kweller

maps - the yeah yeah yeahs

slightly unsettling if not morbidly delightful

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 23:24:19 GMT

I like these paintings.

www.markryden.com

they remind me of things like tim burton and alkaline trio -both of which I like (cept sleepy hollow cause it sucked, and I really only like half of alkaline trio's songs -the rest are okay).

consciousness binge

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 01:43:11 GMT

not sleeping for a few nights in a row puts you in a state similar to being drunk and hung-over at the same time. you slur your speech and stumble over small, stupid things, while feeling unsettled and rather queasy.

in class you set your head down on your desk, assuring yourself that you're still completely capable of taking in everything the prof. is saying as you 'rest your eyes.' then those odd, archetypal thoughts start to bleed into your semi-conscious mind and a quasi-dream state ensues -in which the content of the lecture blends into the plot of the dream. when class is over, you find a number of two or three word sentence fragments that trail off unintelligibly next to a puddle of drool.

a brand new way to not do homework

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 21:50:25 GMT

ugh.. .